As some of you know, I recently experienced two profound losses. Alan Davidson, a dear friend and mentor passed suddenly. That was followed by the passing of my cat PD after a struggle with illness.
In both instances, I felt deep pain and grief. The grief of these losses opened up regrieving for my dad who died almost 10 years ago.
When my dad died, I did not know how to fully or deeply grieve but instead went towards the logical mind statements that we often hear or speak. Things like “he went to a better place” or “there is no more suffering”.
I experienced what is referred to as spiritual bypass. It’s when one justifies the loss in some way to avoid the processing of the grief in the physical body.
We can do this for many reasons – to avoid the pain, because we feel like we need to be strong, or perhaps because we hold onto a belief that it is only honorable if we come from a place of gratitude. Doing this, however, does not allow us to honor all of the parts associated with loss nor does it empower us to be authentic in honoring the loss and the being that is no longer physically present.
To help me get through the process of grieving and being present with the physical loss, I am keeping physical memories of both in my space. This includes photos and other items that help trigger the grief in a way that I can honor it, which in return allows me to honor myself fully and honor those two precious beings in full love.
If you are experiencing a loss and struggling to process the grief or other emotions, I am here to provide guidance and support. You can set up a time to meet with me HERE.
You can also reach out to me at carolyn@carolynmcgee.com if you have any requests, feedback, or would like to contact me directly.
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